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Irene

Posts:1

01/02/2008 2:03 PM
First I am new to this website.....I wish I had known about it sooner! It is so nice to have a place you can go to and ask questions, seek advice or get a laugh from other local moms. My son will be two in a few days. No matter what I do I can not get him to sleep through the night. My daughter (5) was sleeping through the night by 3 months..... I know I know that is unusual and maybe I shouldn't complain but I am a working mom and haven't slept though the night for most of the two years. He never took a pacifier and has no attachments to anything, well besides me. When I put him down either for a nap or bedtime I have to give him a small bottle. I feel funny about this because he is almost 2. The babysitters can just put him in his crib with a bottle and walk away. I have to hold him and wait for him to fall asleep. This usually doesn't take long.....our Peditrician said this is normal since My husband any myself work full time .....Ethan (my son) is just trying to "hang out" longer with us. I am had to have him cry it out because then it wakes up my daughter, my mother, my father, my husband, the two cats and of course myself...so fish count?

Colleenr

Posts:66

01/02/2008 4:09 PM
Irene, First, let me just say we have all been there at some point - you are not alone! My oldest will be four in March, and we have had a variety of periods of sleep or sleeplessness in our house. A couple of things came to mind when I read your story. First, it isn't a good idea for your son to nap or sleep with a bottle because it can cause tooth decay. That would probably be the first thing to address (and chances are it will not be easy since he associates it with sleep). And based on my experience, it should be an all or nothing experience too - so don’t give him a bottle some times but not others, that will just confuse him. When you decide to take away the bottle, you will probably have to do a lot more cuddling and reassuring because he has become dependent on it to fall asleep. Which sounds like I am telling you to do exactly what you don't want to do, but he will probably need a little extra loving when you take it away, and then you can get down to business. Next, I don't agree that you should have to hold your 2 yr old to fall asleep (I think that advice is misguided and unfair – as if we don’t feel guilty enough about how much time or lack of time we spend with our kids!). Your son can and will be able to sleep without your cuddling/rocking him to sleep. Once you get past the bottle removal stage, the next step is to decrease the amount of cuddle time. The first week it may be 20-30 mins, the second week down to 15 mins, and so on. The goal is to get to the quick snuggle and in to bed (it may sound cruel, but don't give in if he pleads for more time - it can sabotage your efforts!). Some other key points to add to your strategy is sticking to a routine (reading books, brushing teeth, soft music, etc.) as much as possible; that way he anticipates what is expected on a regular basis. This includes naptime too; it is just a bit modified from the evening bedtime routine. You can also try to substitute something of comfort when you take the bottle away (a blanket or stuffed animal, for example). He may not want it at first, but it can't hurt to try. Likewise, if he protests about going to sleep on his own, you have to do your best to avoid conversation or letting your frustration show. Simply state in a matter of fact way, that is it bedtime and repeat that. Since he is in a crib, you have the advantage because he can't wander yet. But, if he does climb out of his crib, you should put him back without any conversation except that it is bedtime (if he is a climber, by the way, they make these great crib "tents" - I have never used them, but know many people who swear by them). Lastly, I recommend (and I must say I am a embarrassed to admit it, but here goes…), is/are the Super Nanny books. They have some really good advice in them, especially on sleeping. I actually bought it when we were having sleep issues myself and thought the advice was right on. Hope this helps and good luck to you. Let us know when you are getting some sleep!

Jana

Posts:164

01/03/2008 10:15 AM
*Hi Irene!* Welcome to Stlmoms! This is a great place to come hang out with mom's and local ones at that! It's always nice to have an opportunity to ask a question, comment on a forum, or just read and learn something new! Colleen hit it on the nose with this advice, and I do think its going to take some time. Just stick with a plan, and I will pray for a happy ending! LOL Please keep us informed as to how Ethan is doing. *Have a wonderful day!!*

mommychaos User is Offline

Posts:1

01/03/2008 6:53 PM
Irene, I am also new to this site (in fact, this is my first post!). I have two daughters, 10-1/2 and 9. My 10-1/2 year old still, to this day, has sleep issues. For many years, she slept in my bed, and for periods of time, has slept in her own bed, but not without a fight, nor consistently. What I've learned from this disaster is that you must absolutely head this off now, or you will be in the same trap I am. Consistency is key. What seems like a huge battle now is nothing if you continue to give in to the guilt or the fact that it's just "easier" to appease him. A few days, or maybe even weeks, of letting him cry it out will be what you think is the hardest thing to do, but trust me, he is still young enough to train him to do it. Sounds cruel, I know. But unless you want several more years of sleepless nights, you should do this now. I often joke that my daughter will come home from her prom and will want to crawl into bed with me. Check back with me in 5 or 6 years to see if it comes true! Best of luck to you. You can do this! Consistency is key.

UberOrgMom User is Offline

Posts:16

01/03/2008 10:42 PM
Hi, welcome to the site! I wanted to start off completely agreeing with what everyone is saying and yes, consistency is the key. You may want to try something else too. I know this is going to sound totally crazy, but ask him to go to sleep all night. My daughter is 2 years old too. She has always slept through the night but every now and then she will start a phase where she doesn't. Teething, potty training, etc. whatever the cause it happens every 4 months or so for a night or two. I am not sure what causes it each time but I heard somewhere that you should just ask them to sleep all night. So, I tried it. I can't believe it but it worked!! After her bedtime routine I started saying, "Okay Maddie, I love you. Sleep all night for Momma and I will see you in the morning." I kid you not it works! You never know it just might work for you too. I would impliment all the things that Colleen talked about and then just ask. Basically you have nothing to loose. Good luck, you can do it!

Megan AtHome America HomeStyle Specialist #36536 www.athome.com/styleathome Shop anytime online! Please use HSS ID #36536 at checkout!

Colleenr

Posts:66

01/04/2008 3:36 PM
Megan touched on a couple good points. They do tend to go thru phases and actually talking to your child during the day in a light and easy conversation about what is expected at bedtime can help. My oldest had a period where she only wanted to sleep in the hallway (yes, I said hallway). I was running out of ideas until one day we talked about it (and continued to talk about it periodically) and I noticed a definite improvement in her cooperativeness and soon enough, the hallway battle ended. I swear we all need honorary psychology degrees to be parents!

Liz

Posts:32

01/08/2008 4:35 PM
Irene, I totally sympathize with you. We started having sleep issues with my son when he was about 2 1/2 and we took the binky away at night time (it was already out of the picture during the day). Ever since then, he was a bear to get to bed at night. It would take at least an hour and a half! We tried all the things everyone said to do including stationing ourselves outside his bedroom with our back to him and carrying him back to bed 30 times in a row (a SuperNanny technique, I believe). NOTHING worked until a friend told me she gave her son an over-the-counter natural hormone called melatonin. I am NOT normally one of those people who think the answer to everything is in a pill, but this 1 gram little pill has done WONDERS for our bedtime --and his overall behavior because of the increased amount of sleep he has been getting. I was reluctant to "drug" my child at first but I did research on WebMD and consulted with both the pediatrician and the pharmacist and both of them said it was perfectly fine. Melatonin is called the "darkness hormone" because it is what your brain releases when it's dark out and you turn off the lights in preparation for bedtime. It allows your mind to drift so you can fall asleep. I truly believe that some kids just don't produce enough of this hormone. I suppose just like a bottle or binky, he can become reliant on the drug to fall asleep, but we don't give it to him every night. After just a couple weeks, however, I think he was sort of sleep re-trained since bedtime had become a pleasurable experience and not a battle all the time. Anyway, I hope you find a method that works for you! Maybe you can do it without resorting to a pill, but that sure did work for me! Liz

Pam

Posts:35

01/12/2008 10:35 PM
Children sleep best with a with a set schedule throughout the day and a consistent bedtime routine. A consistent bedtime routine (which should take between 20 and 30 minutes) will help a toddler make the transition from active time to sleep time. Encourage your toddler to fall asleep on his own at bedtime. Once he is able to soothe himself to sleep he will be able to get himself back to sleep on his own when he wakes up during the night. Follow through with your bedtime rules and routine and be consistent in how you respond to him and soon he should start sleeping through the night.

Counseling, Consulting & Workshops Equipping Children, Families & Professionals www.pamdyson.com www.pamdyson.blogspot.com

Exhausted101 User is Offline

Posts:2

01/25/2008 5:54 PM
We had sleep issues with my daughter and I was at wits end by 9 months. I applaude you for making through this long. We went to St. Lukes Sleep Center and met with Nancy Birkenmeier. She was amazing. We told her about Kailtyn and she explained what was going on in simple terms. Then shegave us two plans to choose from gradual and immediate. The plans were very precise and easy to understand. There was crying involved but Kailtyn caught on really quick. The first night was really the only horrible night. By the 4th night she was sleeping through beautifully. The website is below. Good luck!! http://www.stlukes-stl.com/services/sleep_medicine/index.html

SwanseaMom User is Offline

Posts:3

07/25/2008 3:13 PM
The BEST thing I've ever found was a technique I saw on SuperNanny (I seem to reference that show in a lot of myposts). Anyway, it worked beautifully for my daughter, who's 2 1/2. You have a routine to get them to bed (ours is brush the teeth, read a book, say a prayer, say good night). whatever your routine is, be consistent. Then leave the room. The first time they get out of bed, say only "It's bedtime, darling" and put them back into bed. The second time, say only "it's bedtime" and the third time and each subsequent time, say nothing, only return the child to their bed. The first night I tried this, my daughter pulled out all the stops, saying things like "I want my mommy", "I have an owey," "I need a drink," etc etc. When she got up the third time and I said nothing and only put her into bed, she said in a very frustrated tone "TALK TO ME!." I didn't. She didn't get up again, and the second night got up only once. Hasn't happened since. As soon as they realized they won't be rewarded for their behavior (any type of feedback from you is a reward), they will stop seeking it.

AubreysMom User is Offline

Posts:5

07/27/2008 6:50 PM
Hi All, I had this same problem with my 3 year old. I looked everywhere for answers, and I just couldn't seem to find anything that worked. Everyone just kept telling me "consistency, consistency, consistency", but this was the most consistant part of her life, and it was not working. One day, I came across this one website, I tried it ONE night, and it worked!!! It is the best tip I have ever had. And, my little girl is one stubborn and unruly child, so I thought nothing would work, and I just couldn't believe that it worked. I was so happy that I emailed the website and told them how thrilled I was and they wrote me back asking to use my email for advertisement. Try it!!! http://www.parentstoolshop.com/HTML/tips21.htm What's really funny is that this article is the answer to a question that some mailed in from the STL!!! Leave it up to us homefolks to get the job done! --------------------------------------------- -Kelly Logan Passion Parties Independent Consultant Need a girls night in? Ask me how!!! Kellyspassion@sbcglobal.net

--Kelly Logan Passion Parties Independent Consultant Need a girls night in? Ask me how!!! kellyspassion@sbcglobal.net www.luvwithapassion.yourpassionconsultant.com

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