I have three boys, ranging from 7-4 years old. I have made it very clear that we are a team around the house. This means that EVERYONE helps with laundry, the dishes, etc.
When they have helped out with things unexpected, like cleaning up the dog poop, or something, I will surprise them with a reward of money and thank them for being big helpers.
I recently met a mom who gives her kids $1 for every year of their age. If I did that, I would be broke. I don't think it is unreasonable to ask our children to pitch in in the home they enjoy living in. Besides, it teaches them that some tasks are necessary, but go without reward - a life lesson, if you will.
I'd like to know the thoughts of other moms regarding allowance.
Heather
I agree with Stacy. I would be brock if I gave allowence. We do pay for the things the kids need. If they want to go to the movies or something like that they must earn the money. By doing an extra job. I have 8 children and my oldest babysits so she has her own money. But the others who are to young to babysit really are to young to go to hte movies by themselves anyway. They want clean clothes they can help get them clean. I shouldnt have to pay them to help. Cristi
My 9 year old has just asked me for an allowance as well. (I also have a 12 year old). As most of you said, I explained that certain chores are part of life and part of their responsibility as they grow up. They need to learn to do learn, dishes, cook etc as part of becoming independent. Little do they know that teaching them these skills is actually a wonderful reward in itself but, of course, that's way too much to ask !! In any event, I admired their desire to build a savings and we discussed doing extra things for income so that it actually mimics a 'job'. I had a psychologist tell me once that paying children as a reward for doing certain things is a good thing (vs. bribery). She said that life teaches us "If we go to work, we get paid. If we perform tasks at work, we get paid." It would follow that it is OK to reward children for money for performing CERTAIN tasks as that is our reality. On the other hand, there are some things to be done that should just be expected and not rewarded with money.
I do struggle with the vagueness of what extra chores the children should be paid for and what they should not be paid for. It is difficult for them to know if they are going to get paid or not. I suppose a list of 'Responsibility Chores - not paid" and 'Bonus Chores - paid" would be a good idea??
I have found that, with very small/young children, even a nickel is reward enough for completing certain chores. My friend had a mound of rock delivered. It was dumped on her front drive and needed moved to the backyard where they were using it in a garden. The kids carried it around and down the hill bucket by bucket. They earned 5 cents per bucket carried. Her son was thrilled that he earned 70 cents!
I realize that this won't work with older children...but at least it is a start. But I do agree that there is a fine line between what chores are worthy of payment. Regular everyday duties really are not worth payment in my mind...out of the ordinary things should earn payment...but nothing too excessive...or we teach our kids to expect something for everything they do. We are only doing our job if in the end we have taught a valuable life lesson...we must always keep that in mind. Will it matter in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years? What do I want him/her to take away from this situation?